SotM hail from the forbidding environs of Dushanbe, Tajikistan, where their
uncompromising mongrelization faced severe oppression within a culture even
more harsh and mysterious than that of northern Europe. Taking advantage of a
sister-city agreement entered into by both municipalities during the height of
Soviet imperialism, our heroes relocated sometime in the early second
millennium to the mountain hamlet of Boulder, Colorado, nestled majestically
among the foothills of middle America's ancient Rocky Mountains.

Diazuegmenon, a porter by trade, survives as the sole heir to and proprietor
of a vast lard-rendering fortune. The thirteenth of six hundred and sixty-six
children born to an assortment of couples only tenuously related to each
other, the ruddy youth quickly excelled at math, penmanship, and a
particularly demanding regional style of gymnastics for which there is no
adequate equivalent in the English language. Adolescence found him at home
among the bustling streets of a Tajikistan in transition, and as a young teen
his identity often straddled the tenuous boundary between organized crime and
pastoral counseling. However, a chance viewing in a local salon of a
performance of John Cage's 4'33", arranged for piano four-hands, inspired the
young prodigy (along with countless others of his generation) to become a
composer. When not attending to corporeal necessities (many of them quite
unseemly!), he concerns himself with Musicology and Electronic Composition at
the University.

El Otro, trained as a lathe operator, comes from sturdy peasant stock,
exhibiting the cleft, sweeping brow and deep-set, penetrating shins of the
noble laborer, off-set by the cunning stride and equal temperament of the
labored nobility. A disproportionately hirsute gentleman, he entered into
early retirement, amid austere conditions, in order to further his researches
into occultisms, eclipsings, and esoteriology; his tortuous musings remain to
be found in Critique of Critical Criticism; the Quarterly Digest Review; and
Journal of Loosely Phonetic Inscriptions, The; as well as in this sentence. A

severe instrumentalist and voicist operating under a string of assumed
pseudonyms (herein omitted), he has produced various noises for sundry groups,
including: Jeff and ____ (2001-2002); Grotesquity (1994-'96); Holeshot ('92-
'95); Hemikrania ('94); Liaison ('89-'93); and ______ and the Cool Cucumbers
('88-'90). A rotating collection of his works and grace may be observed for
purchase at an undisclosed location beneath the farmer's market every 1st and
3rd Tuesday, alternately.

Xylophobe is not human. A barely discreet entity issuing from an assortment
of solvents, coagulants, and catalysts of burnished hues, s/he creates the
illusion of percussive sounds without actually striking anything. Citing an
unwholesome obsession with primitive ganglia, this unabashed polyglot and
sycophant has never been more thoroughly predicated on contingency, evoking
interminable non-sequiturs from critics and supporters alike.